about a square peg in a round hole

Indeed.

A New Zealand prostitute is offering fresh breast milk as an extra service at the brothel where she works. The 25-year-old, who uses the name Brooke and works in Hawera, gave birth to a son six weeks ago. Business at the brothel has picked up since it began running explicit advertisements after prostitution was decriminalised. Brooke said she started offering her breast milk after a suggestion from a client. “Most of these guys are clean cut, well-presented nice guys,” she said. But hygiene fears have been raised on behalf of the woman`s baby by the breastfeeding advocacy group, La Leche League, says The Daily News. League director Rosemary Gordon, said there could be a risk of infectious diseases like herpes, hepatitis and tuberculosis, being spread through cross-infection, between the baby, clients and the mother. She said it would also be a concern if the baby`s milk supply was being compromised: “The baby should have first option,” she said. Brooke said she washed herself with hot salt water and showered before feeding her son, and did not believe there was a risk of cross-infection. “My kid comes first,” she said.

Bullshit! Obviously, her client’s come first.

Okay - so I have a sick, twisted and improper sense of humour.

Sue me. I’ll defend myself. [In-joke alert!]

I’m so punny.

p.s. My sense of humour is becoming more and more eclectic. Someone help me please!

Didn’t realise that people still did cybersex. Christ.

freekinprostitute
10:07 hi… anyonne there?

why_square
10:08 do i know you

freekinprostitute
10:08 oh your there hi.. a/s/l (age sex location)?

why_square
10:09 i’m not free right now. maybe some other time.

freekinprostitute
10:09 im 27/f/USA. was lookin at yur profile. thought you might like to chat. so what have you been up to ehy_square?

why_square
10:10 well i’ve been rather busy - still am. sorry, i don’t mean to be rude, but perhaps we could chat some other time. cheers.

freekinprostitute
10:10 cool. i was just hangin out watching tv. i was getting kiinda horny (*blushes)

10:11 was just browsing the yahoo profile thing. looked like you might be an interesting person to chat with. feel like a little cyber fun with mee ? please please…

why_square
10:11 i’m sure you’ll find someone out there who will oblige you. ta.

You might be thinking: “Oh what the hell, you should have… It’s harmless innocent fun… You’re single too - might have been a welcome distraction…”

To which I’d say, straight up, no thank you - I’m single, not desperate (yet). Plus, I am just not quite comfortable having cybersex with the 27 year old American girl who is really Jamie with a dick, sitting in his trailer typing away on his 2 dollar stolen computer with his left thumb and index fingers, whilst furiously jacking off with his right.

Okay. Maybe singledom is getting to me. I don’t know.

Fuck off.

Now. I’m Asian. Asian by birth, Asian by upbringing, Asian by looks and physique. I speak Asian tongues, I love Asian food. I am Asian. Through and through.

Okay. Admittedly I do not agree with many and I mean many, Asian cultural values or the more traditional of Asian idiocracies, and my lingua franca is primary English, by learning and by choice, which might point to me not being the poster-child for Asians Anonymous, but that’s a whole other blogpost. Or Wikipedia entry.

But I still maintain that I am Asian.

And being Asian dictates, neccessarily, that before you make the momentous decision to purchase a product or service, you are expected to ’shoparound’ for the best possible value for money, be it in the form of discounted prices, or complimentary gifts, or best still, free giveaways.

And in that respect, I do regretfully concede that this morning, I failed to be Asian.

On a whim, I waltzed into a bookstore that advertised the sale of a 1GB pendrive for a mere NZ$120. Without so much as a germ of a thought, I pluckily whipped out my spanking new MasterCard and bagged the 5cm by 2cm technical wonder. The packaging alone was about 600% bigger than the actual product.

Did I ’shoparound’? No. Did I waver to think that perhaps… Well, actually I kinda did.

I’ve just discovered that there are more than 10 online vendors in New Zealand that are offering comparable or better products at a ridiculous 50% of the price I paid.

So I guess the moral of the story is that Asian or not, one should bloody ’shoparound’ before one bloody buys a stinking pendrive at a twice-inflated price.

Now. I wonder if I can return the fucking thing.

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