about a square peg in a round hole

Am feeling rather low right now.

I got off work a couple hours ago, a 9.5 hour shift; sat at the staff canteen to have some food and ended up puking my guts out in the toilet. The bus ride home was a blur. I don’t really remember getting on or off the buses.

I don’t know what happened.

How can childish and innocent happiness that surrounds the wonderful Christmas celebrations suddenly get sucked out of one’s soul? Well, maybe it’s not that sudden afterall. Can’t really remember the last time I had a happy Christmas.

No, I do have a favourite memory of Christmas – my family sitting around the dining table, parents trying hard not to squibble, sisters glued to the TV, me watching mum (who looks so tired having toiled in the kitchen the whole day long) take out all the Christmas food and dad carving the turkey. On Christmas eve.

I miss that.

The fiery me has finally subsided I think, I’ve finally mellowed down.

I don’t quite like Christmas actually. But yet, I miss Christmas at home with my family. Guess I always will, till I have my own. Even then, I think I’d still be missing it.

Stop Press
Just received a call from a mate, inviting me to dinner at his place in an hour. I need to cheer the fuck up anyway… Perhaps He had a hand in this. He takes cares of all, right?