about a square peg in a round hole

This morning, we both woke up at half five, strangely to the sound of my alarm, which has a baby laughing as the alarm alert (don’t ask!), and opened the door and met each other in the hallway. Very weird. Couldn’t sleep after that, so we stayed up in my room talking.

Last night was kinda weird, I felt uncomfortable, but not horribly so. But this morning was much better. I could look her in the eye, lay next to her and stuff and still feel mildly comfortable. Anyway, we talked about stuff in general.

She looks… well, somehow, she looks less good, but also really good at the same time. I dont understand it.

We’ve been hugging and stuff. nice friendly stuff. Though she did kiss me on the lips once. Note: SHE did. i’ve only been kissing her on the cheeks. It was nothing anyway. Though it would maybe be a tiny lie if i said that it meant nothing (to me). But so what, ey?

So anyway, we stayed up till 8 and went to shower (separately, of course). Then i made cheese on toast (Edamer, but of course!) while she had a salad i made last night.

But a really awkward moment came when she left for class and we hugged and i was giong for a kiss on the cheek but it kinda turned out as though i was trying to kiss her, but i didn’t and wasn’t.

I think we both know that i’m not totally over her. but i’m trying. I just can’t stop staring at her – its like i’m trying to etch her deeper into mine memory.

Like i even need to. Heh.