about a square peg in a round hole

Got this today:

As if reality TV weren’t bad enough ! Now we have to get the “blow by blow” of people’s exceedingly boring and uninteresting lives. Really, put your creative juices to work and make something INTERESTING up for God’s sake. Why would you post this crap , it’s crap ! Isn’t there enough crap in the world. I think you should print out all your entries and use them to fertilize a garden.

Do I care about your outfit NO
Do I care about your lack of a girlfriend NO
Do I care you probably won’t be getting laid by any of your fantasy ladies soon NO
Do I think you need to get off your computer and start living in UV light YES !!!!!
Dude , you’re in college you’re 21? Do SOMETHING !!!!
Seems to me life is passing you by one keystroke at a time.

By bitchyamerican, at 11:38 AM

What the fuck?

Alright, alright. I’ll respect your First Amendment right to free speech. You obviously don’t recognise my right to it, but then again, you’re American, so it’s to be expected, I reckon. But still. What the fuck?

First of all, your countrymen came up with the fucking fascinating concept of reality TV, which has now culminated into Big Brother – a peepshow for those interested in watching people snore.

Accepting the fact that this blog is indeed unINTERESTING, I’ll like to know what the fuck were you reading it, and worse still, what the fuck were you doing reading the fucking ARCHIVES of this blog.

You’re right about another thing: my garden does need the fertilizer. Why do I post this crap? Umm… I didn’t really know before, but now, I have a new purpose: to bore the shit out of you and the rest of the world.

I don’t even want to bother commenting on the rest of your rather intriguing post. Except for this:

I’m now 22, graduated from Cardiff University (not college) with Honours in Law. I own and run Victorian Theatre Company, having trained as a Producer at age 15, with 7 productions in Malaysia under my belt, as well as one in Cardiff. I do webdesigning on the side, and have a year’s worth of experience as a Chef in a 5* hotel. Amongst other things.

Seems to me that I’ve been under the UV rays a bit excessively – perhaps its time to slow down a little. I respectfully disagree that life has been passing me by a keystroke at a time (thought I think it’s a nice phrase).

Doesn’t the phrase go: “America, land of the Free”? You’ve just made me decide that I like “America, land of the Freely Hypocritical”. Although I do know a really good mate who’s from Maryland, and he’s not like that… At all.

Dude, as for getting laid. I noticed you chose certain specific words and phrases such as “blow (by) blow”, “(creative) juices”, “crap” (that’s a bit weird, but whatever gets you off, mate) and “fertilize (a) garden”. Could this be the subconcious manifestation of your lack of sexual satisfaction? Now, I’m no Freud. But perhaps your psych 101 lessons could shed a little more light on your silent plea for whatever it is that you need.

I actually feel somewhat disgusted sitting here to write a reply to you. I am wasting my life away keystroke by keystroke. But what the hell, ey? This blog could do with a bit of spicing up.

Keep writing to me, bitchyamerican. Teach me the things I don’t know. Make me and my blog more INTERESTING. Who cares what I think about MY blog. That’s the American way, innit?

For fuck’s sake, dude. You don’t like my blog? Don’t fucking read it. Piss the fuck off, you self-righteous egotistical knob.

Tosser. Wanker. Cunt.